Confessions of a Wife

It was Sunday afternoon when we started our three hour drive home from a mini-vaca with friends when I asked. Do you think we have a good marriage? He said, “Yeah.” It was then that I verbally vomited out the words, “I almost had an affair this weekend and I have been having an emotional affair with a man in KY.” The shock was written all over his face. He said, “Thank you so much for telling me and being honest with me. I can imagine it was hard for you.” I was shocked, why think about me and how hard it is for me. I just told you I almost had a physical affair, yell at me, hate me, hit me, something!! I wanted him to be mad and tell me I am stupid. I wanted to hear the pain he was feeling, but all he could think about was me and how “hard” it was for me!

I went on to tell him about the two previous situations and how sorry I was. I told him I reached out to a church friend and that I really want to make our marriage work. I made a bad choice and want to work to repair us. At this point, I saw no fault on his part. I took all the blame (rightfully so – in my eyes) and was pained to think I had hurt this wonderful man once again with my sin.

He explained that he was in shock and wanted time to process his feelings. He didn’t want to share with me his pain and sheltered me from his thought. We cried together, he prayed for us, and we tried to encourage one another.

I was hopeless.

That evening we made plans to meet with some friends to pray with us and share what has happened. They asked questions and I shared fully what was going on with me.