Tonight I met with my two best friends what has been going
on and what I had confessed. They were so loving and yet showing me my sin at the
same time. They were able to ask me open and honest questions – which I
answered with complete truthfulness.
I love these ladies so much because regardless of how much I
seem to screw up they still love me and want to walk with me in this.
They shared some very insightful things with me that I can’t
over look and completely agree with.
- What I describe to them about being sexually starved and how I have responded sounds like I have made passionate sex an idol.
- Sounds like I don’t understand or feel the love of God.
- I need to end this long distance “relationship”
- A struggle isn’t a struggle is I am not turning my back from the sin.
- It doesn’t sound like I am repentant. It sounds more like I am trying to be good for goodness sake.
I am not in a place of repentance (yet) but a place or
wanting the truth out there. I am not sorry for what has happened but I am sad
it has hurt my husband.
I am struggling to even talk to God. Girlfriend suggested that I just come to Him honest and bare but I am not only ashamed but mad. Why would he allow us to go through all this when we are willing to do anything for him and his church?
No comments:
Post a Comment