Failure to Progress

I stumbled in my communication with this other guy again. We started talking and texting again and I confessed to my best friend and had to end it forever.

What I told him:

We must stop all forms of communication. I can't allow this to continue no matter how much I "enjoy" it.

I hope you can respect this boundary. If you care for me like you say you do, please erase my number and not respond to me if I have a weak moment, please don't answer if I boo-dink and be strong for me. Please.

I am a married woman - happy or not, my mariage must be my priority and I hope you can forgive me for my part in this. I have not resisted the temptation to text or email you and for that I am equally at fault for allowing this to continue.

I have included my best friend on this email because I have proven I am not strong enough by myself to stay out of ongoing communication with you.

Please know this isn't about you. You have known since the beginning that I was weak and unhappy in my marriage and sadly I used you for pleasure, I am sorry.

I wish you all the best and encourage you to find happiness and comfort in more honest ways, as I plan to do this as well.

I had to tell my husband again and it WRECKED him. I feel terrible and wish I could take it all back. We will be working through this and I trust he is still in this with me.

I am asking the Lord to show me the damage it causes – so I can make better choices in the future.

I can’t fight sin alone, I have to depend on God to do it for me. Fight it alone will never end well and I can’t do it on my own. No matter how much I want to.

Why did I reach out to the other guy again? Excitement, fun, enjoyment in the midst of the pain and hard time in my marriage. There is no good reason, just selfishness and desire to be seen as sexy and hot my other men who can’t have me. Sad, sick, and a lonely place to be.